Ultimate Resumes eNews
APRIL 2006

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Tip #1 Networking should be fun.
There seem to be a lot of classes, books, websites, and articles available to help us learn to expand our network. When I was in business school I took an organizational behavior class that touched on this topic. I often think that resources available on networking miss a key point: networking is about meeting nice people with whom you can connect. Sure, there are times that you have only a business purpose for seeking out a particular acquaintance and you may not be all that interested in a social relationship with your business contacts. But I am talking about the kind of networking that allows you to expand both your social and business rolodex because whether you like it or not, the two are intertwined. Networking should be fun and should be a way to meet new people with whom you have something in common. If you approach every person you meet with an open mind but, also, make a mental note of what they do for a living you will find that networking is a breeze. When you meet someone new just be friendly, open, and remember their name and you will find that making and maintaining contacts is fun and you will be surprised at how quickly your Rolodex expands.

Tip #2 Offer something to the people with whom you want to network.
Many times during my career I have received phone calls from people whom I didn’t know at all but who wanted to network with me. Sometimes these “networkers” got my name from the company website or an alumni directory. Other times a networker might drop the name of a mutual acquaintance. The problem wasn’t how callers got my name but in how they approached me. For example, over the years I have received numerous calls that started with the person on the other end of the phone saying (with very little preamble), “I would like to come meet with you and hear about careers with your employer.” My initial reaction to that was always the same: No, I am too busy. If I don’t know you and am not trying to hire you why would I take time out of my day to give you a narrative about working for my employer? What’s in it for me? Once, someone called me to network a few days after I had given notice to my employer that I was leaving to accept another job. When I told the networker that I was leaving the company she had the nerve to ask if she could send me her resume so she could apply for my job! On the other hand callers who said something like, “I found your name in the alumni directory and I am new to town and would like to meet people. Can I buy you a cup of coffee sometime?” were more likely to get my attention. Why? Because the caller pointed out something we have in common (we were both alums of the same school) and was gracious. Further, this caller wasn’t demanding something from me. When you want to meet someone new approach them with an offer of something rather than a demand for something. Maybe you can provide a service or information that he or she needs. Perhaps you can offer to buy lunch or coffee. But, don’t begin your introduction by demanding something of the people with whom you want to network because they might just refuse to network with you!

Tip #3 Use your existing network to grow your list of acquaintances.
Have you ever said to someone you know, “Any friend of yours is a friend of mine”? Well that statement is never truer than when you are networking. Grow your network by utilizing your friends’ networks. Are you looking for a job with a specific employer or within a specific industry? Or maybe you want to gain admission to a private club? Whatever your reason for wanting to expand your network, it’s always more effective to be introduced to a new contact by a mutual friend. Talk to your existing friends (not casual acquaintances!) about your goals and find out what contacts they have within your dream employer or in that exclusive club you are dying to join. Find out if your friend would be willing to invite you and the person you want to meet to lunch so you that your introduction is friendly and casual. Or, if you are making a cold call to a new contact it’s a great opener if you can say, “Our mutual friend, Joe, says that you are one of the best architects in town and I would love to invite you to lunch to get acquainted.” By networking through your existing contacts you benefit from the goodwill afforded to you by association with quality people.

Tip #4 Listen more than you talk.
When you are introduced to a new person don’t overwhelm him or her with endless talk about yourself no matter how eager you are to impress. Listen first and talk later. People always like listeners more than talkers and you will impress your new contact more by being an attentive listener than you will by telling them too much about yourself too soon. Let’s face it, everyone wants something from someone else at one time or another. But don’t be too obvious about it. Relax. Make a new friend and then, once you and your new friend have built mutual trust, it’s appropriate to ask for a favor. One additional benefit to listening first is that your new contact may have a need that you can help him or her fill so you can potentially do him or her a favor before asking for one yourself! Maybe your new contact just can’t find a babysitter and you know the perfect teenager for the job. Or perhaps your new contact is trying to fill a niche job and you know a great candidate. Listening is the key to any relationship and networking is a perfect opportunity to develop new relationships.

Tip #5 Treat everyone you meet with respect and kindness.
My grandmother has always told me to treat others the way I would want to be treated. And grandmother is right. For one thing, it’s a very positive way to live your life, but as a practical matter you never know who is acquainted with whom. And you never know who will be employed by a company for which you desire to work or do business with. Once I was an invited guest of the bride at a wedding in Dallas. The groom, who had gone to Stanford Business School and had a very lucrative job with a venture capital firm, approached a group of people which included my date and me at the reception. He was charming and funny to the people in the group who had prestige jobs. The groom was very overtly ungracious to my date and me because neither of us could be helpful to him at that point in our careers. Too bad for him because my date to that wedding, who is still a great friend of mine, now has a very powerful Wall Street job and he maintains a very bad impression of the groom. Be nice to everyone because people will remember how you treat them and you just never know when your paths may cross again.

Tip #6 Follow up and stay in touch.
One wonderful thing about email is that it provides a relatively easy and non-annoying way to make contact with someone whom you have just met. When someone gives you a business card you should make a note on the back of the card to remind you where and when you met your new contact. Then send a quick email to say you enjoyed meeting him or her and encourage your contact to stay in touch. You can periodically send articles that might be of interest to your new contact based upon interests you learned about when you first met. Send a quick email when your employer is hosting a seminar that might be of interest to your new friend. The point is that you should stay in touch but do so in an appropriate manner which takes into account the unique set of interests that your new contact has.

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